What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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