I wish I could teleport
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
