Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
