she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
