I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I am one with the molecules
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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