Girls should come with a carfax report
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
