did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
