Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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