dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
