You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
