My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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