I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
