that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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