i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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