...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
