FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
