We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
