So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
