she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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