I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
