Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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