I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
