I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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