dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
