i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
