You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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