i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
