Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
