she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
