She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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