Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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