My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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