I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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