It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
