drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
