did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
