Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm bleeding and have questions
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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