Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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