Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
