i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
