Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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