He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
