You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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