So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
