i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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