Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
