I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
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