When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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