You work out of a Hotel?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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