You can't motorboat a personality
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
