If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
