there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
BRING THE BAGELS
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Randomize
