You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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